超級搞笑的英語笑話篇一

　　湯姆是個小孩

　　Tom is a little boy, and he is only seven years old. Once he goes to a cinema. It is the first time for him to do that. He buys a ticket and goes in. But after two or three minutes he comes out, and buys the second ticket and goes in again. After a few minutes he comes out again and buys the third ticket. Two or three minutes after that he comes out and asks for another ticket. But a girl asks him,“Why do you buy so many tickets? How many friends do you meet?” “No, I have no friends here, but a big woman always stops me at the door and cuts up my ticket.”

　　湯姆是個小孩， 他才7歲。 當他去電影院的時候。那時他第一次去。他買了張票進去了。 但沒過兩三分鐘他就出來了，然后買了第二張票又進去了。 幾分鐘后他又出來買了第三張票。 接著兩三分鐘后他又出來買票。 一個女的問她，“你為什么要買那么多票啊? 你見到了幾個朋友?" "沒有， 我里面沒朋友， 但是每當我進門的'時候一位大的女人老把我的票給剪了"

　　超級搞笑的英語笑話篇二

　　Teacher: Would Shakespeare be a great man if he were still alive today?

　　Student: Of course. He must be a great man, for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years.

　　一名偉人

　　老師：如果莎士比亞還活著，他會是一名偉人嗎?

　　學生：當然。因為到目前為止，還沒有人活到400多歲。

　　超級搞笑的英語笑話篇三

　　There was a guy who went into a shop to buy a parrot. There werethree parrots in the shop. One was $5,000; another one, $10,000; and the third one, $30,000. The customer asked the owner, “How come this guy is $5,000? That’s so expensive for this kindof parrot.” The owner said, “Because I have trained him and he can talk.” So the customer asked him, “How about this guy? What can he do that makes him so expensive?” The owner said, “Well, apart from talking, he can also do some amusing actions,like dancing and so on. That’s why he’s so expensive.” Then the customer said, “How about the third one? What canhe do that makes him so expensive?” The owner of the shopsaid, “I don’t know. Normally, I have never heard him talk, nor dance, nor whistle, nor sing, nothing at all! But the other two call him ‘The Boss.’”

　　有個人到一間商店買鸚鵡。店里有三只鸚鵡，其中一只賣五千元，另一只賣一萬元，還有一只賣三萬元。顧客問老板：「為什么這只要賣五千元?這個價錢對這種鸚鵡來說太貴了!」老板說：「因為我有訓練他講話�！诡櫩陀謫枺骸改沁@只呢?他會做什么?為什么要賣這么貴?」老板說：「他除了會說話之外，還會表演一些有趣的動作，好比說跳舞等等，所以才賣這么貴�！诡櫩徒又�又問：「那第三只呢?他會做什么?為什么要賣這么貴?」老板說：「我不知道。我從沒聽過他講話、吹口哨或唱歌，也沒看過他跳舞，什么都沒有!不過另外兩只叫他：『老板!』」

　　超級搞笑的英語笑話篇四

　　A police officer pulls over a guy who has been weaving in and out of the lanes.

　　有一位警官把一個在車道上穿進穿出，迂回蛇行的男子攔到路邊。

　　He goes up to the guy's window and says "Sir,I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube."

　　他走到這名男子的車窗旁邊說：“先生，我要你對著這個酒精測試管吹一口氣。”

　　The man says,"Sorry officer I can't do that.I am an asthmatic.If I do that I'll have a really badasthma attack."

　　這名男子說：“對不起呀，警官，我不能吹呀。我是個氣喘病患者呀。如果我吹的話，我就會真的患很嚴重的氣喘病。”

　　"Ok,fine.I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample."

　　“ 好， 好。我要你到警察局進行血液檢驗。”

　　"I can't do that either.I am a hemophiliac.If I do that,I'll bleed to death."

　　“我也能抽血檢驗呀。我是個血友病患呀。如果我抽血檢驗，我就會流血過多而死呀。”

　　"Well ,then we need a urine sample."

　　“嗯，那我們就要你進行尿液檢驗吧。”

　　"I am sorry officer I can't do that either.I am also a diabetic.If I do that I'll get really low bloodsugar."

　　“對不起呀 ，警官，我也不能驗尿呀。我也是一個糖尿病患者呀。如果我驗尿的話，我的血糖就真的會變得很低。”

　　"Alright then I need you to come out here and walk this white line."

　　“好吧，那我要你出來到這邊，走這條白線。”

　　"I can't do that,officer."

　　“警官，我辦不到呀。”

　　"Why not? "

　　“為什么辦不到?”

　　"Because I am too drunk to do that."

　　“因為我喝得太醉了，所以不能那么做呀。”