風(fēng)趣的幽默英語故事
幽默故事，能讓你在信手翻啟間開懷一笑，得到身心的徹底放松、心緒的怦然萌動、情感的欣然釋放。下面陽光網(wǎng)小編為大家?guī)盹L(fēng)趣幽默的英語故事三則，歡迎大家閱讀!
風(fēng)趣幽默英語故事：好消息
Halfway between New York City and Washington, D.C.,]the train's engine fell silent.
在紐約至華盛頓的半路上，火車的引擎突然沒聲兒了。
"I've got good news and bad news," the conductor announced.
“我有好消息和壞消息宣布”列車長通過廣播說。
"The bad news is we lost power."My fellow passengers groaned.
“壞消息是我們失去動力了” 同車的乘客們不禁抱怨了起來。
"The good news,"he added, "is we weren't cruising at 30,000 feet."
“至于好消息”，他補(bǔ)充說，“是我們沒有在3萬英尺上巡航”。
風(fēng)趣幽默英語故事：孩子是自己的好
Three Catholic women and an old Jewish lady were having coffee.
三個信奉天主教的婦女和一個猶太老婦人在一起喝咖啡。
The first Catholic woman tells her friends,"My son is a priest.When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'".
第一個婦女對她的朋友們說，“我兒子是一個牧師。每當(dāng)他走進(jìn)房間，人們總是稱呼他神父”。
The second woman chirps, "My son is a bishop.Whenever he walks into a room, people call him 'Your Grace'".
第二個婦女唧唧喳喳地說：“我的兒子是一名主教。每當(dāng)他走進(jìn)房間時，人們都尊稱他大人”。
The third woman says, "My son is a cardinal.Whenever he walks into a room, he's called 'Your Eminence'".
第三個婦女說：“我的兒子是一名紅衣主教。每當(dāng)他走進(jìn)房間時，人們都恭敬地稱他閣下”。
As the old little Jewish lady sips her coffee in silence,the first three give her a subtle "Well...?"look.
這時那位身材瘦小的猶太老婦人默默地喝著她的咖啡，那三個婦女一起用微妙的`眼神看著她，
So she says: "My son is 6'5; he has broad,square shoulders and is very muscular; he's terribly handsome.
意思是：“你兒子呢?” 于是她說，“我兒子身高六英尺五英寸，肩膀?qū)掗煟∪獍l(fā)達(dá)，他長得非常英俊。
He has beautiful hair, dresses very well and always smells wonderful.Whenever he walks into a room, women say 'Oh, my God!'
他的頭發(fā)很漂亮，衣著講究，而且身上總是散發(fā)著一股令人心曠神怡的芳香。每當(dāng)他走進(jìn)房間時，女人們都會說，“哦，我的上帝呀!”
風(fēng)趣幽默英語故事：他愛吃巧克力塊曲奇
An old man was laying on his death bed.
老人躺在床上，
He had only hours to live when he suddenly smelled chocolate chip cookies.
只能再活幾個小時了。突然，他聞到了巧克力塊曲奇的味道，
He loved chocolate chip cookies more than anything else in the world.
他最愛吃這種餅干了。
With his last bit of energy, he pulled himself out of bed, across the floor, and to the stairs.
用他最后一點力氣，老人翻下床，爬到樓梯那，下樓到了廚房。
Then down the stairs and into the kitchen. There his wife was baking chocolate chip cookies.
他老伴正在做巧克力塊曲奇。
As he reached for one, he got SMACKED across the back of his hand by the wooden spoon his wife was holding.
他拿了一塊，這時手背被他老伴用木勺打了一下，
"Leave them alone!" she said, "They're for the funeral!"
“放下，”她說，“這是葬禮上用的!”
1、有個人在山上口渴難忍,去一農(nóng)夫家討水,農(nóng)夫說家里沒有半點水,這個人只好下山去,等走到半山腰,聽見農(nóng)夫在山頂喊他,回頭一瞧,農(nóng)夫手里舉著一個水罐,便又氣喘吁吁地爬上山頂,他好不容易爬到山頂,心想這下有水喝了,誰知,農(nóng)夫把水罐底朝天,口朝下,說道:你走后,我想你肯定說我騙你,
不信你看,確實沒水,不騙你吧
2、一個流浪漢在一家旅館外面敲門,旅館的名字叫“喬治和母老虎”,他問開門的女人:你能不能賞碗飯給我這個可憐的人? 女人大聲說:不能 幾秒鐘后,流浪漢再次敲門,同樣是那個女人開門。 那個女人大聲喊道:滾開,你這個沒用的東西,以后永遠(yuǎn)不要來了。 幾分鐘后,流浪漢又去敲門,開門的還是那個女人,流浪漢說:對不起,這一次,我能不能和喬治說話?
3、兩個獵人拖著他們的獵物——一頭死鹿到他們的卡車那邊去,另一個獵人獨自拖著他的獵物走,“嗨,”那個單獨的獵人說,“我不想對你們指手畫腳,但是如果你們拖鹿的那一頭,會好拖一些,因為那樣鹿角就不會戳到泥土里邊了。”當(dāng)那個獵人走遠(yuǎn)之后,這兩個獵人決定試試他的建議,過了一會兒之后,其中一個對另一個說:“咱也學(xué)了一次精明,那家伙是對的,拖鹿的這一頭好拖一些。” “沒錯,”另一個補(bǔ)充道,“但是我們離我們的卡車更遠(yuǎn)了”
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