好笑的英語笑話
民間笑話的根本功能在于引人發(fā)笑,在這個(gè)使人緊張而倍感壓抑的商品經(jīng)濟(jì)時(shí)代,笑話成了撫慰人焦灼靈魂的一劑良藥。下面是陽光網(wǎng)小編帶來的好笑的英語笑話小短文，歡迎閱讀!
好笑的英語笑話小短文篇一
Fame and hardwork
名聲與艱苦勞動(dòng)
During the Gulf War，my sister，Jane，bought a flag and asked her apartment's maintenance man, a Vietnam vet，to install a pole for him. When she offered to pay him,he told her there was no way he could take money for putting up the American flag.
海灣戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)期間，我妹妹珍妮買了一面美國(guó)國(guó)旗，她請(qǐng)房子的維修工—一位越戰(zhàn)的老兵給她豎一根旗桿。當(dāng)我妹妹為此什給他錢時(shí)，他說，他幫助掛美國(guó)國(guó)旗，無論如何都不該收錢。
Jane contacted her local newspaper，and they published an article about the incident. The next time she encountered the maintenance man, he told her that everyone he knew had read her story and that she had made him a celebrity.Jane jokingly asked for his autograph.
珍妮來到當(dāng)?shù)貓?bào)杜，就此事在報(bào)上發(fā)表了一篇文章。當(dāng)珍妮第二次碰到那位維修工時(shí)，他對(duì)珍妮說他所認(rèn)識(shí)的人都看了她寫的報(bào)章，是她使他成為了名人。珍妮開玩笑地說讓他給簽個(gè)名。
"I don't have time,"the man replied. "I'm too busy setting up American flags.”
他回答說:“那我可沒時(shí)間，掛美國(guó)國(guó)旗的事忙得我不可開交。”
好笑的英語笑話小短文篇二
Home alone
獨(dú)自在家
My wife will go to any extreme to keep people from,‑knowing she is home alone. One evening when I was working late，my wife heard a knock on the door. She ignosed it,but the knocing continued. Frantic，sloe began to bark,softly at first，then louder and louder. Much to her relief,the knocking soon stopped.
我妻子獨(dú)自在家時(shí)，總是不想讓別人知道家里沒有其他的人。一天晚上，我工作到很晚。我妻子聽到有人敲門，她就沒理，但敲門的聲音總是不停，慌亂之中，她開始學(xué)狗叫。一開始她低聲地叫，隨后她的叫聲越來越大。敲門聲很快地停了，她這才松了口氣。
The next day the paper boy came to the door to collect."I came by last night,"he told me,"but I left when your wife barked at me!"
第二天，送報(bào)的小孩來我家收錢，那小孩告訴我:“我昨晚上就來了，你老婆老沖我學(xué)狗叫，我就走了。”
好笑的英語笑話小短文篇三
Peter decides the grade
彼得的長(zhǎng)相決定了分?jǐn)?shù)
One semester when my brother, Peter，attended the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis，an art-student friend of his asked if he could paint Peter's portait for a class.assignment. Peter agreed，and the art student painted and submitted the portrait, only to receive a C minus.
我兄弟彼得在明尼阿波利斯的明尼索達(dá)大學(xué)上學(xué)時(shí)，有一個(gè)學(xué)期，他的一位學(xué)藝術(shù)的朋友問他是否可以用他做素描的'模特作為課堂作業(yè)。彼得同意了。那位藝術(shù)生畫完了，就把肖像交給了老師。他只得了一個(gè)C-.
The art student approached the professor to ask why the grade was so poor. The teacher told him that the proportions in the painting were incorrect.”The head is too big，”the professor explained.”The shoulders are too wide， and the feet are enormous."
那位藝術(shù)生找到教授問為什么他的分?jǐn)?shù)這么低。教授告訴他肖像中的比例失調(diào)，教授說:“腦袋太大，肩太寬，腳也過于大了。”
The next day,the art student brought Peter to see the professor. He took one Look at my brother."Okay, A minus. "he said.
第二天，那位藝術(shù)生帶彼得見教授，教授看了我兄弟一眼，并說:“好，可以得A-。”
好笑的英語笑話小短文篇四
Being considerate
善解人意
I had iust learned to drive and, like most teen-agers，begged at every opportunity to take over the wheel. During a family vacation my father finally allowed me drive on a long，straight stretch on highway.I was in my glory until there was a sudden turn in the road.Caught unaware, I swung too wide and ran into a service station's advertising sign. I stopped the cat and waited for a lecture.
像大多數(shù)的青少年一樣，我剛學(xué)會(huì)開車時(shí)，總想利用一切開車的機(jī)會(huì)。有一次家庭外出度假時(shí)，我經(jīng)過請(qǐng)求，爸爸終于允許我在筆直的高速公路止駕駛。我感到十分榮幸，直到開到了一個(gè)急轉(zhuǎn)彎，由于轉(zhuǎn)盤轉(zhuǎn)動(dòng)得太大，車直奔著加油站的廣告牌沖去。我停下了車，等著挨訓(xùn)。
My father，always considerate of his children's feelings，turned back to the rest of family and said. "As long as we're here,does anyone need to use the rest room?"
我的父親總是考慮到孩子喲情緒，轉(zhuǎn)過身對(duì)家里的其他人說:“既然我們已經(jīng)把車開到了這兒，有人想上廁所嗎?”
延伸閱讀：
我剛進(jìn)家門,就發(fā)現(xiàn)桌子上放著一張百元大鈔。平時(shí)老媽也不給什么零花錢,難道這次發(fā)慈悲了?想到這兒,我心中不禁一喜。當(dāng)我拿起鈔票時(shí),發(fā)現(xiàn)底下還壓著一張紙條,拿起來一看,上面寫著:今天是你外婆生日,在家等我,我們一起去給外婆祝壽。注意——那一百塊錢不是給你的,是為了引起你的注意,看到后請(qǐng)把它放回原處!
有一天大家在玩“空當(dāng)接龍”,阿米興沖沖地跑過來。 “啊!有一個(gè)字我忘了怎么寫! ” 。。。。 停了幾秒,他撓撓頭:“我不記得怎么念了。”
一日大堂經(jīng)理向一客戶推薦我們的網(wǎng)上銀行:“您天天都來看行情,不如用我們的網(wǎng)上銀行吧?”那位客戶卻說:“不行,我晚上沒時(shí)間。”大堂經(jīng)理說他那天笑得臉疼。
一客戶存錢,柜員問:“您是存定期嗎?”他立即扭頭問妻子:“我們要定期還是死期?”妻子答:“先死三年吧! ”強(qiáng)忍不敢笑。
今早在公交車上,偶看到一個(gè)人從包里掏手機(jī)看時(shí)間,然后說了句"我cao",還以為他時(shí)間來不及了,再仔細(xì)一看,他手里拿著一個(gè)空調(diào)遙控器
一群螢火蟲在空中飛,其中有一只不發(fā)光!另一只很好奇地問它怎么了。不發(fā)光的螢火蟲回答道:“哎,上月忘交電費(fèi)了! ”
姐姐的錢包掉了,里面有她的準(zhǔn)考證、身份證之類很重要的證件啦。姐姐聽別人說可能會(huì)被小偷扔到附近的垃圾桶里就去翻垃圾桶……因?yàn)橐恢睕]找到又很著急就開始邊哭邊找。 突然過來一個(gè)大嬸,看到我姐姐一邊哭一邊在找垃圾桶的東西,就關(guān)心的問了一句話:“妹妹,你是餓了吧,我剛撿的,你先吃點(diǎn)吧。。。”
一對(duì)新人在教堂舉行結(jié)婚典禮,到了互換戒指的時(shí)候,緊張過度的新郎竟然忘了這件事。 牧師非常焦急的舉起手指,做出套戒指的動(dòng)作,并眨著眼睛暗示新郎。 只見新郎脹紅著臉,結(jié)巴地說:“牧師,那不是今晚洞房之夜才做的嗎?”
話說一對(duì)年輕夫妻有一個(gè)剛開始牙牙學(xué)語時(shí), 做老公的�？蠢掀懦３：苡眯牡慕虒�(dǎo)孩子“叫爸爸”,這個(gè)做老公的大受感動(dòng), 認(rèn)為太太真好先教孩子叫爸爸 ,而不是先叫媽媽,覺得真幸福。 有一個(gè)寒冬深夜,孩子哭鬧不休一直叫爸爸, 此時(shí)夫妻倆睡的正好,老婆就推了推老公說你兒子一直在叫你,你趕快去啦, 這時(shí)老公才知“原來如此……”
早市上賣早點(diǎn)的看見帶有“行政執(zhí)法”的車開了過來,大家馬上相互招呼,四散跑開。車停了,車上下來兩個(gè)人,無奈的互相看了一眼,其中一個(gè)說:我說不開車吧,你非要開,看看,又沒早餐吃了!
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