英語幽默笑話帶翻譯篇
這妹紙好像很喜歡香蕉，出門散步都帶著
關(guān)于篇1
What Will Be the Headline
When a man in Macon, Ga. , came upon a wild dog attacking a young boy, he quickly grabbedthe animal and throttled it with his two hands. A reporter saw the incident, congratulated theman and told him the headline the following day would read, "Local Man Saves Child by KillingVicious Animal. "
The hero, however, told the journalist that he wasn't from Macon.
"Well, then," the reporter said, the headline will probably say, 'Georgia Man Saves Child by KillingDog. '"
"Actually," the man said, "I'm from Connecticut."
"In that case," the reporter said in a huff, "the headline will read ,'Yankee Kills Family Pet.'"
標(biāo)題是什么
一位男子在喬治亞州的麥根城遇到一條狗在襲擊一個(gè)男孩。他敏捷地用兩手卡住了狗的脖子并掐死了它。一位記者目睹了這件事，向這位男子表示祝賀并說次日的新聞標(biāo)題將是：“本地男子殺惡畜救孩童”。
然而，這位英雄卻告訴記者他不是麥根人。
“那么，”記者說，“標(biāo)題可能為‘喬治亞男子殺狗救孩童’”.
“實(shí)際上，”那男子道，“我是康涅狄格人。”
“這樣的話，”記者怒氣沖沖地說，“標(biāo)題將是‘北方佬殺死家庭愛犬’”
關(guān)于英語幽默笑話帶翻譯篇2
I'm a police officer
When my husband, Jack, was a police officer, he once approached a home guarded by twoferocious dogs. They lunged at the screen door with such force that it opened, and they toreout into the yard.
Thinking quickly, Jack, stepped into the house, closing the door tightly behind him. " It's allright, ma'am," he reassured the homeowner " I'm a police officer."
"Not a very brave one," 'she observed.
我是警察
在我丈夫杰克還是警察的時(shí)候，一次他走近有兩只惡狗看守的庭院。那兩只狗奮力地?fù)渥ゼ嗛T，把門弄開了并沖到院子里。
杰克反應(yīng)迅速，三步并兩步地跨入房子里，牢牢地關(guān)上身后的.門。“沒事了，女士，”他安慰家主道，“我是警察。”
“可不是很勇敢的一個(gè)。”她淡淡地說。
關(guān)于英語幽默笑話帶翻譯篇3
A Tough Teacher
A school teacher friend of mine injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around theupper part of his body. On his first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he wasassigned to teach the most undisciplined class. Stepping confidently into the rowdyclassroom, he opened the window as wide as possible. Just then, a strong breeze made his tieflap. Trying to fix the tie , he took a blackboard eraser and hammered a large tack through histie into his chest.
He had no trouble with discipline that term.
強(qiáng)悍的教師
我有一位作教師的朋友弄傷了他的背，因此上身不得不穿石膏罩。開學(xué)的第一天，他的身上還穿著石膏罩。他被分派教最不守紀(jì)律的班級(jí)。他很自信地步入亂哄哄的教室，把窗子盡可能大地打開。就在這時(shí)，一陣強(qiáng)風(fēng)把他的領(lǐng)帶吹得飄起來。為了固定領(lǐng)帶，他拿起黑板擦，把一個(gè)大頭釘透過領(lǐng)帶砸入他的胸膛。
那學(xué)期在他的課上，沒有不守紀(jì)律的。
笑話是內(nèi)容豐富并具有出乎意料結(jié)尾的幽默口頭故事。笑話幾乎涵蓋人們生活的所有領(lǐng)域,其中包括政治笑話、經(jīng)濟(jì)笑話、家庭生活笑話、關(guān)于民族性格的笑話等。陽光網(wǎng)小編分享初一經(jīng)典英語笑話，希望可以幫助大家!
初一經(jīng)典英語笑話：There was just a dog fight
A man walks into a bar one day and asks, "Does anyone here own that rottweiler outside?"
"Yeah, I do!" a biker says, standing up. "What about it?"
"Well, I think my chihuahua just killed him..."
"What are you talkin' about?!" the biker says, disbelievingly. "How could your little runt kill my rottweiler?"
"Well, it seems he got stuck in your dog's throat!"
初一經(jīng)典英語笑話：He is a very smart dog
I went to the cinema the other day and in the front row was an old man and with him was his dog. It was a sad funny kind of film, you know the type. In the sad part, the dog cried his eyes out, and in the funny part, the dog laughed its head off. This happened all the way through the film. After the film had ended, I decided to go and speak to the man.
"That's the most amazing thing I've seen," I said. "That dog really seemed to enjoy the film."
The man turned to me and said, "Yeah, it is. He hated the book."
初一經(jīng)典英語笑話：This dog is acting bad
While waiting for a bus, the blind man's dog decided to go to the bathroom all over the blind man's legs.
A passerby commented to the blind man, "What! That dog just went to the bathroom all over your legs, and you are petting him?! Are you crazy?"
To which the blind man replied, "Madam, I am not petting him, I am feeling for his bottom, so I can kick him."
初一經(jīng)典英語笑話：Cat technical support problems
This is an actual account by a worker at a technical support and service center. One particular customer had an old console-type machine with a print head that would ride back and forth on a spiral shaft. They also had a big bushy cat who liked to sit on the edge of the printer next to the operator.
Well, one day we got a service call that said, "Cat caught in machine, come quick!"
When I arrived I saw everyone sitting around mending their various wounds, scratches and contusions. No sight of the cat. It appears that while they were running the machine the cat was twirling his tail in his usual fashion and stuck it down into the printer at the most inopportune time and got sucked in! Apparently, the cat absolutely freaked out and clawed at everyone who came close. They finally freed the cat, and to this day, the cat goes nowhere near the machine.
初一經(jīng)典英語笑話：This is one smart dog
A butcher is leaning on the counter toward the close of day when a dog with a basket in its jaws comes pushing through the door.
"An' wot's this then?" he asked. The dog knocks the basket sharply into the butcher's shins.
"You dumb dog." As he reaches down to smack the dog, he notices a note and a ten dollar bill in the basket.
The scribble on the note asks for three pounds of his best mince [ground beef]. The butcher figures this is too easy. He goes to the window and reaches for the dried up stuff that's been sitting out all day.
The dog growls at him. The butcher turns around and, glaring at the pup, gets the best mince from the fridge. Weighing out about 2 1/2 pounds, he drops in on the scale with his thumb.
"Hmmmmm, a bit shy. Who'll know?"
Again, the dog growls menacingly. "Alright, alright," as he throws on a generous half pound. He wraps it out, drops it in the basket, and drops in change from a five. The dog threatens to chew him off at the ankles. Another five goes in the basket.
The butcher is quite impressed and decides to follow the piddy pup home. The dog quickly enters a high-rise buildings, pushes the lift button, enters the lift, and then pushes the button for the 12th floor. The dog walks down the corridor and smartly bangs the basket on the door. The door opens, and the dog's owner screams at the dog.
"Hey, what are you doing? That's a really smart dog you've got there," comments the butcher.
"He's a stupid dog--that's the third time this week he's forgotten his key.
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