一分鐘簡(jiǎn)單高中英語(yǔ)小笑話
笑話是幽默的一種形式,玩笑的目的就是逗樂(lè)、引人笑。下面是陽(yáng)光網(wǎng)小編帶來(lái)的高中英語(yǔ)一分鐘小笑話，歡迎閱讀!
高中英語(yǔ)一分鐘小笑話篇一
災(zāi)難
George W. Bush visits an elementary school and the 4th grade class is in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asks the President if he would like to lead the class in a discussion of the word "tragedy". So George W. Bush asks the class for an example of a tragedy.
喬治·布什到一所小學(xué)參觀，四年級(jí)的孩子們正在討論一些單詞及其含義。老師問(wèn)總統(tǒng)是否愿意帶領(lǐng)孩子們一起討論“災(zāi)難”的含義時(shí)，喬治·布什要求學(xué)生們給出災(zāi)難的具體例子。
One boy stands up and says, "If my best friend who lives next door is playing in the street and a car comes along and runs him over; that would be a tragedy.”
一個(gè)男孩站起來(lái)說(shuō):“如果住在我隔壁的最好的朋友在街上玩，一輛轎車(chē)開(kāi)過(guò)來(lái)并從他身上碾過(guò)去，那將是一場(chǎng)災(zāi)難。”
"No,”says Bush，"that would be an accident.”
“不，”布什說(shuō):“那只是一場(chǎng)意外。”
A girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved; that would be a tragedy.”
一個(gè)女孩舉起她的手說(shuō)，“如果一輛載著50個(gè)學(xué)生的校車(chē)翻下懸崖，車(chē)上所有的同學(xué)都喪命，那將是一場(chǎng)災(zāi)難。”
“I’m afraid not,” explains the President. "That’s what we would call a Great
loss.”
“恐怕不是，”總統(tǒng)解釋說(shuō)，“那是我們所說(shuō)的重大損失。”
The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. President Bush searches the room and asks, "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
教室里一片安靜，沒(méi)有一個(gè)孩子再發(fā)言。布什總統(tǒng)掃視了一遍教室，然后說(shuō)，“這里沒(méi)有人能再給我一個(gè)例子，說(shuō)明什么是災(zāi)難嗎?”
Finally，in the back of the room, Johnny raises his hand and in a quiet voice he says， "If Air Force One，carrying Mr. and Mrs. Bush, was struck by a missile and blown up to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.”
最后，在教室的后面，約翰尼舉起了他的手，用平靜的口氣說(shuō)，“如果載著布什先生和布什太太的空軍一號(hào)被導(dǎo)彈擊落并炸成碎片，那將是一場(chǎng)災(zāi)難。”
"That's right! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?" asks the President.
“對(duì)了!你能告訴我為什么那是災(zāi)難嗎?”總統(tǒng)問(wèn)。
"Well,” Johnny says, "because it wouldn’t be an accident and it sure as well wouldn't be a Great Loss.”
“哦，”約翰尼說(shuō):“因?yàn)槟菍⒉皇且馔�，也絕對(duì)不是重大損失。”
高中英語(yǔ)一分鐘小笑話篇二
父親的職業(yè)
A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living.
小學(xué)老師正在問(wèn)孩子們他們雙親的職業(yè)。
Timmy stood up and said, "My mom is a Doctor!”
迪米站起來(lái)說(shuō):“我母親是名醫(yī)生。”
Sarah stood up and said, "My father is Professor!”
莎拉站起來(lái)說(shuō):“我父親是位教授。”
Little Johnny stood up and said, "My ad is a piano player in a whorehouse!”
小約翰尼站起來(lái)說(shuō)，“我爹地在妓院演奏鋼琴。”
The teacher couldn’t believe what she ad just heard, so she made a point of calling Little Johnny's father that evening.
老師不敢相信她所聽(tīng)到的話，于是她決定晚上給小約翰尼的.爸爸打電話問(wèn)個(gè)清楚。
When she told him what Little Johnny had said，he told her, "Actually. . . I’m an attorney, but how am I supposed to explain that to a seven一year old?"
等她告訴小約翰尼的父親后，約翰尼的父親對(duì)她說(shuō)，“事實(shí)上，我是一名律師，但我怎么能向一個(gè)七歲的小孩解釋清楚這個(gè)職業(yè)?”
高中英語(yǔ)一分鐘小笑話篇三
羅馬是什么時(shí)候建成的?
Teacher: When was Rome built?
教師:羅馬是在什么時(shí)候建成的?
Tom: At night.
湯姆:在夜里。
Teacher: Who told you that?
教師:是誰(shuí)告訴你的?
Tom: You did. You said" Rome wasn’t built in a day".
湯姆:是您。您說(shuō)過(guò)“羅馬不是在一個(gè)白天建成的”。
笑話是一種用來(lái)逗笑取樂(lè)的文體。笑話,不僅能讓同學(xué)們?cè)谌粘Ｉ詈蛯W(xué)習(xí)中不時(shí)地會(huì)心一笑,還能從中學(xué)習(xí)到不少的知識(shí)。小編精心收集了有關(guān)于簡(jiǎn)短的英語(yǔ)笑話，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
有關(guān)于簡(jiǎn)短的英語(yǔ)笑話篇1
The mourner's pain
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave.
The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, “Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?”
The first man approached him and said, “Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?”
The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, “My wife's first husband.”
有關(guān)于簡(jiǎn)短的英語(yǔ)笑話篇2
Black eyes
A man came to work on Monday morning with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened.
The man replied, “On Sunday, I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her butt crack, so I was trying to be nice and I pulled it out for her. Then, she turned around and punched me in the eye.”
The boss asked, “Okay, so where did you get the other shiner?”
“Well,” the man said, “I figured she didn’t want it out, so I pushed it back in.”
有關(guān)于簡(jiǎn)短的英語(yǔ)笑話篇3
不捐款的理由Why should I give you money
A very rich lawyer is approached by the United Way. The man from the United Way is concerned that the lawyer made over $1,000,000.00 last year but didn't donate even a cent to a charity.
"First of all", says the lawyer, "my mother is sick and dying in the hospital, and it's not covered by healthcare. Second, I had five kids through three divorced marriages. Third, my sister's husband suddenly died and she has no one to support her four children..."
"I'm terribly sorry", says the United Way man, "I feel bad about asking for money."
The Lawyer responds, "Yeah, well if I'm not giving them any money, why should I give you any?"
有關(guān)于簡(jiǎn)短的英語(yǔ)笑話篇4
好客
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate.
The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.
由于客人在吃蘋(píng)果餡餅時(shí)，家里沒(méi)有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。這家的小男孩悄悄地離開(kāi)了屋子。過(guò)了一會(huì)兒，他拿著一片奶酪回到房間，把奶酪放在客人的盤(pán)子里。
客人微笑著把奶酪放進(jìn)嘴里說(shuō)：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪?” “在捕鼠夾上，先生。”那小男孩說(shuō)。
有關(guān)于簡(jiǎn)短的英語(yǔ)笑話篇5
聰明的兒子
One day, the father lets eight-year-old son send a letter. The son took the letter. The father then remembered he didn't write address and addressee's name on the envelope.
After the son comes back, the father asks him: "You have thrown the letter into the mail box?"
"Certainly."
"You didn't notice that?the envelope does not have address and addressee's name on it?"
"I certainly saw nothing written on the envelope."
"Then why?didn't you take it back?"
"I thought that you?did not write address and addressee, because you wouldn't let me know to whom you send the letter!"
英語(yǔ)笑話可能只是文字游戲,但有時(shí)它在人們解決生活中的困惑時(shí)起著重要作用。陽(yáng)光網(wǎng)小編整理了關(guān)于兩分鐘的英語(yǔ)笑話，歡迎閱讀!
關(guān)于兩分鐘的英語(yǔ)笑話：Blind Man in Texas
There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas.
When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, "Wow, these seats are big!"
The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in Texas."
When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar.
Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed, "Wow these mugs are big!"
The bartender replied, "Everything is big in Texas."
After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located.
The bartender replied, "Second door to the right."
The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and skipped the second door.
Instead, he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident. Scared to death, the blind man started shouting, "Don't flush, don't flush!"
關(guān)于兩分鐘的英語(yǔ)笑話：Akimbo (叉腰)
Just like most of other kids, aged two Emilia didn' t like washing hands──she' s always wiping the dirt off hands on her clothes. One day I accompanied her to have fried cicadae(蟬). Habitually she rubbed her grease fingers on her real silk short gown. I held back (阻擋) her from doing it: " What do you want to do?" She was immediately on to (意識(shí))her blame, replied at ease(從容): " I' m akimbo."
像大多數(shù)別的小孩一樣，兩歲艾咪麗雅不愛(ài)洗手，吃東西弄臟手，隨便在身上一抹就得了。一天我正陪她吃炸知了，她手上的油多了，便習(xí)慣地往真絲小褂子上蹭，我阻止道：“你想干什么?”她馬上意識(shí)到問(wèn)題所在，從容答道：“我叉腰。”
關(guān)于兩分鐘的英語(yǔ)笑話：Reason of Punishment
懲罰的原因
One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do.
The mother exclaimed, But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that you didn't do?
The little girl replied, My homework.
一天，小女孩從學(xué)�；氐郊依�，對(duì)媽媽說(shuō)：媽媽?zhuān)裉煸趯W(xué)校里我因?yàn)橐患覜](méi)有做的事情而受到懲罰。
媽媽激動(dòng)地說(shuō)：那真是太可怕了!我要跟你的老師好好談一談，對(duì)了，你沒(méi)有做過(guò)的那件事是什么?
小女孩回答說(shuō)：我的家庭作業(yè)
關(guān)于兩分鐘的英語(yǔ)笑話：Two Birds 兩只鳥(niǎo)
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
老師： 這兒有兩只鳥(niǎo)，一只是麻雀。誰(shuí)能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀嗎?
學(xué)生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老師：請(qǐng)說(shuō)說(shuō)看。
學(xué)生：燕子旁邊的就是麻雀，麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。
關(guān)于兩分鐘的英語(yǔ)笑話：I'm Trying to Stop It
左耳朵進(jìn)右耳朵出
"Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?"
"No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other, so I am trying to stop it."
“孩子，你為什么用棉花塞住耳朵?它感染了嗎?”
“沒(méi)有，老師�？墒悄阕蛱煺f(shuō)你告訴我的知識(shí)都是一個(gè)耳朵里進(jìn)，一個(gè)耳朵里出，所以我要把它堵在里面。”
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