帶翻譯英語笑話大全
一臉享受的阿汪，真是讓人羨慕！
短一些英語笑話帶翻譯：離事故有多遠(yuǎn)?
A carpenter was giving evidence about an accident he had witnessed.
一位木匠正在為他目擊的一起事故作證。
The judge asked him how far away he was from the accident.
法官問他當(dāng)時(shí)離事發(fā)現(xiàn)場(chǎng)有多遠(yuǎn)。
The carpenter replied "twenty seven feet, six-and-one-half- inches".
木匠回答，“27英尺，6.5英寸”。
"What? How come you are so sure of that distance?" asked the judge.
法官問：“什么?你怎么能這樣確定?”
"Well, I knew some idiot would ask me. So I measured it!" replied the carpenter.
木匠回答，“是啊，我知道一定會(huì)有傻瓜問我這個(gè)問題，所以我事先測(cè)量了一下。”
短一些英語笑話帶翻譯：你納稅了嗎?
A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS Tax auditorwho had come to reviewhis records.
一個(gè)神色緊張的納稅人正悶悶不樂地和前來查帳的國(guó)稅局的稅務(wù)審計(jì)員交談。
At one point the auditor exclaimed,"Mr. Carelton, we feel it is a great privilegeto be allowed tolive and work in the USA.
審計(jì)員一度大聲地說，“Carelton先生，我們認(rèn)為能在美國(guó)生活和工作是莫大的榮幸，
As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes,and we expect you to eagerly pay them with asmile"
而作為一個(gè)美國(guó)公民，您也有納稅的義務(wù)。我們希望您能無比樂意地帶著微笑來納稅。”
"Thank goodness"returned Mr. Carelton, with a giant grin on his face,"I thought you were goingto want me to pay with cash."
“謝天謝地”，Carelton先生咧著嘴大笑地回答，“我還以為你們是要我?guī)еX來交稅呢!”
短一些英語笑話帶翻譯：交通事故
A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign ...hit his car broadside, and knockedhim cold.
有個(gè)人開車行駛在上班的路上，一輛卡車闖紅燈從側(cè)面撞上了他的車，當(dāng)時(shí)他就不省人事了。
Passerbys pulled him from the wreck and revived him.
路旁的行人把他從車?yán)锢鰜聿拘阉?/p>
He began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics.
剛一醒過來，他就拼命的掙扎著，最后不得不用了藥物才讓他鎮(zhèn)靜下來。
Later, when he was calm, they asked him why he struggled so.
過了一會(huì)兒，他平靜了，別人問他為什么要這么恐怖的掙扎，
He said, "I remember the impact, then nothing.
他說：“被撞之后我就什么都不知道了，
I woke up on a concrete slab in front of a huge, flashing 'Shell' sign. And somebody wasstanding in front of the 'S.'
當(dāng)我醒過來，我發(fā)現(xiàn)我躺在了路邊，前面是一個(gè)巨大的廣告牌上面閃爍著‘殼牌’，但是有個(gè)人擋住了那個(gè)s。”
笑話是內(nèi)容豐富并具有出乎意料結(jié)尾的幽默口頭故事。笑話幾乎涵蓋人們生活的所有領(lǐng)域,其中包括政治笑話、經(jīng)濟(jì)笑話、家庭生活笑話、關(guān)于民族性格的笑話等。陽光網(wǎng)小編分享爆笑英語笑話大全帶翻譯 ，希望可以幫助大家!
爆笑英語笑話大全帶翻譯 ：an absent-minded professor 健忘教授
No doubt about it, my fellow monk, Father Martin, was a bit of an absent-minded professor. He often filled in for sick priests at other parishes, and one Saturday he found himself on a train to a new destination, frantically searching his pockets for his ticket. "Forget about it, Father," said the conductor, recognizing him as a regular. "I'm sure you paid for a ticket." "I can't forget about the ticket," Father Martin replied nervously. "I need to know where I'm going."
毫無疑問，我的同事、Martin神父是個(gè)有點(diǎn)健忘的教授。他經(jīng)常到別的教區(qū)給生病的牧師替班。一個(gè)周六，他又坐火車出發(fā)了，但到驗(yàn)票時(shí)，他卻怎么都找不著放在衣服口袋里面的火車票。因?yàn)槔献疖�，列車員認(rèn)得教授，因此對(duì)他說，“不用找了，我想你肯定已經(jīng)買過票了。”“我得把票找出來”，Martin神父不安地回答。“我得弄清楚我是要去哪”。
爆笑英語笑話大全帶翻譯 ：哪有人能彎腰彎那么低的啊?
How could anyone stoop so low?
Our manager at the restaurant where I worked was a much beloved, jovial man. But there was one subject you didn't dare discuss in front of him -- his height. Or, should I say, his lack of it. One day, he stormed through the door and announced angrily, "Someone just picked my pocket!" Most of my fellow waitresses and I were speechless, except for the one who blurted out, "How could anyone stoop so low?"
我們的.餐廳經(jīng)理是一位深受大家愛戴，和藹而又快樂的人。但在他面前有一件事不能提--他的身高�；蛘�，我應(yīng)該說，他是有點(diǎn)矮!一天，經(jīng)理怒氣沖沖地撞門而入，高聲說，
“有人拿了我的錢包!”
我和其她大部女招待都沒敢吱聲，但有人卻蹦出一句話：
“哪有人能彎腰彎那么低的啊”!
爆笑英語笑話大全帶翻譯 ：Shave head 刮頭
Recently, a man walked into my barbershop asking how much for a haircut. "Eight dollars," I answered. "And for a shave?" "Five dollars." "All right," he said, settling into the barber chair. "Shave my head."
前些日子，有一男的來到我的理發(fā)店，問剪一個(gè)頭要多少錢。
“八美元，”我告訴他。
“那，刮次胡子呢?”
“五美元”。
“那行”，那男的邊說邊坐到了理發(fā)椅上，“來，給我刮刮頭吧”。
爆笑英語笑話大全帶翻譯 ：Speeding 超速
Traveling salesmen make their living visiting as many customers as possible. So speeding to get from one appointment to the next is not unheard-of. Which is how I got pulled over by a highway patrolman. "Don't you ever look at the speedometer?" the officer scolded. Before I knew it, the truth spilled from my mouth. "As fast as I was going," I admitted, "I was afraid to take my eyes off the road."
因?yàn)槁眯型其N員為了謀生需要拜訪盡量多的客戶，所以超速飛車趕場(chǎng)對(duì)于他們來說也不是沒有過的事情。有一次我就因?yàn)槌俣刃旭偙灰粋�(gè)公路巡警攔了下來。“你有沒有看過你的時(shí)速表?”那名警官責(zé)問。當(dāng)我的回答一出口，我立刻后悔了，但已經(jīng)太晚了。“車開得越來越快”，我如實(shí)地說，“我的眼睛得一直盯著前面，沒敢看別的”。
爆笑英語笑話大全帶翻譯 ：一睡醒，你就被炒魷魚了
Our co-worker went missing for a few hours, and we tore up the place looking for him. The boss finally found him fast asleep. Rather than wake him, he quietly placed a note on the man's chest. "As long as you're asleep," it read, "you have a job. But as soon as you wake up, you're fired."
我的同事有好幾小時(shí)不見人了。我們瘋了地到處找他。最后老板發(fā)現(xiàn)，他正在睡大覺。沒叫醒他，老板悄無聲息地在我的同事的胸前放了個(gè)紙條。“睡覺時(shí)”，條上寫著，“你是我的員工，醒來你就不是了。”
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