英語爆笑經(jīng)典笑話
妹紙你極有可能交了個(gè)假男友
幽默，是智力過剩的表現(xiàn)，笑話就是它完美的表達(dá)下面是陽光網(wǎng)小編整理的英語爆笑經(jīng)典笑話，以供大家學(xué)習(xí)參考。
英語爆笑經(jīng)典笑話：理發(fā)師
Harry: "My big brother shaves every day."
哈里：“我哥哥每天都刮臉。”
Henry: "My brother shaves fifty times a day."
亨利：“我哥哥每天刮50次臉。”
Harry: "Is he crazy?"
哈里：“他瘋了嗎?”
Henry: "No, he's a barber."
亨利：“沒有，他是一名理發(fā)師。”
英語爆笑經(jīng)典笑話：年少無知
Jimmy is three years old.
吉米3歲了。
One day, he was gazing out of the window when the night fell. He suddenly shouted, "Mum, mum, come close the window!"
一天，他正在窗口觀望，夜幕降臨。他突然喊道：“媽媽，媽媽，快來關(guān)窗!”
"Why? It's not cold, sonny."
“為什么?天不冷呀，寶貝。”
"Yes, mum, but the night will come inside."
“是的，媽媽，可黑夜會(huì)進(jìn)來。”
英語爆笑經(jīng)典笑話：快速靠岸
A guy I know was towing his boat home from a fishing trip to Lake Huron when his car broke down. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able to raise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance. He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, "Mayday, mayday." A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State your location." "I-75, two miles south of Standish." After a very long pause, the officer asked, "How fast were you going when you reached shore?"
在休倫湖釣完魚后，我的一個(gè)朋友開車拖著他的船回家。路上車壞了。 他沒帶手機(jī)，不過，他想，也許他可以通過海事無線廣播來請(qǐng)求公路援助。 于是，他爬到他的船里面，啟動(dòng)了無線裝置，喊道，“求救，求救”。一名海岸護(hù)衛(wèi)隊(duì)警官作出了回應(yīng)，“報(bào)告你的位置”。“I-75號(hào)公路，Standish的南面兩英里”。沉默了好一會(huì)之后，警官問我的朋友，“你的船靠岸時(shí)開得有多快?”
英語爆笑經(jīng)典笑話：冰箱里的小兔子
A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves, "What are you doing in there?" she asked.
一位女士打開冰箱門，發(fā)現(xiàn)一只兔子坐在其中的一層隔板上，就問它：“你在那里做什么?”
The rabbit replied, "This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?"
兔子回答：“這是Westinghouse對(duì)不對(duì)?”(Westinghouse，西屋電氣公司)
The lady confirmed, "Yes."
女士確認(rèn)道：“沒錯(cuò)。”
"Well," the rabbit said,"I'm westing."
兔子說：“那就對(duì)了，我就是要往西邊去。”
Rabbit: Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me?
兔子：你確信這瓶特制胡蘿卜汁能治好我的.病?
Doctor: Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another.
醫(yī)生：當(dāng)然咯，凡是喝過的兔子沒有一只來要第二瓶的。
Baby Rabbit: Mommy, where did I come from?
兔寶寶：媽咪，我是從哪兒來的呢?
Mother Rabbit: I'll tell you when you're older.
兔媽媽：等你長大點(diǎn)再告訴你。
Baby Rabbit: Oh, Mommy, please, tell me now.
兔寶寶：噢媽咪，現(xiàn)在就告訴我吧，求您了。
Mother Rabbit: If you must know, you were pulled from a magician's hat.
兔媽媽：如果你一定要知道，那我告訴你你是從魔術(shù)師的帽子里被拽出來的。
英語爆笑經(jīng)典笑話：我們分享一切
An elderly couple goes to Burger King, where they carefully split a burger and fries.
一對(duì)老夫婦在漢堡王餐廳吃飯，他們小心翼翼地將漢堡和薯?xiàng)l分成兩份。
A trucker takes pity on them and offers to buy the wife her own meal.
一個(gè)卡車司機(jī)非常同情他們，就提議想給老太太單獨(dú)點(diǎn)一份。
"It's all right," says the husband. "We share everything."
“沒關(guān)系的。”老先生說，“我們分享一切。”
A few minutes later, the trucker notices that the wife hasn't taken a bite.
幾分鐘后，卡車司機(jī)注意到老太太還沒動(dòng)口吃一點(diǎn)東西。
"I really wouldn't mind buying your wife her own meal," he insists.
他再次對(duì)老先生說，“我真的不介意請(qǐng)您妻子吃一頓……”
"She'll eat," the husband assures him. "We share everything."
“她會(huì)吃的，”老先生向他保證，“我們分享一切。”
Unconvinced, the trucker implores the wife, "Why aren't you eating?"
司機(jī)不太相信，懇求老太太，“你為什么不吃一點(diǎn)?”
The wife snaps, "Because I'm waiting for the teeth!"
老太太咂咂嘴，“我在等他的假牙。”
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