英文爆笑笑話
英文爆笑笑話一：Lawyer and Engineer
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and the insurance company paid for everything."
"That's quite a coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm here because my house were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything."
The lawyer looked somewhat confused. "How do you start a flood?" he asked.
一個(gè)律師與一個(gè)工程師在加勒比海邊釣魚(yú)。律師說(shuō)：“我到這里是因?yàn)槲业姆孔颖淮蠡馃�，保險(xiǎn)公司賠償了我所有的損失。”
“這太巧了，”工程師說(shuō)，“我是因?yàn)榉孔颖缓樗疀_垮了，保險(xiǎn)公司也賠償了所有的損失。”
律師看起來(lái)有些困惑，“你是怎么引起洪水的?”他不解的問(wèn)。
英文爆笑笑話二：預(yù)報(bào)天氣的印第安人
The Indian Who Could Foretell the Weather Two men were travelling in a very wild and lonely part of America. For days they had not even seen a house， only a few huts made of wood， or tents made of skins. Then one day they met an old Indian who earned his living by trapping animals for heir fur. They found that he knew their language and they had a little conversation with him. One of them asked him if he could tell them what the weather would be like within the next few days. “Oh yes，”he said.“Rain is coming， and wind.Then there will be snow for two days， but after that there will be bright sunshine.” “Is n't that wonderful?” said one man to his friend.“These old Indians know more of the secrets of Nature than we do with all our science. They have not been spoiled by civilization.” Then he turned to the old Indian. “Tell me，”he said，“how you knew all that.” The Indian replied，“I heard it on the radio.”
有兩個(gè)人在美洲一個(gè)非�；臎銎У牡貐^(qū)旅行。好多天來(lái)，他們連所房子也沒(méi)看到，只看見(jiàn)幾個(gè)木棚子和皮帳篷。一天，他們遇到一個(gè)靠獵取獸皮謀生的印第安老人。他們發(fā)現(xiàn)他懂得他們的語(yǔ)言，就和他聊了一會(huì)兒。其中一個(gè)人問(wèn)他，能否告知近幾天的天氣如何。 “哦，行啊”，他說(shuō)。“就要下雨了，還要刮風(fēng)。接著還得下兩天雪。這以后，就是大晴天了。” “這不是太神奇了嗎?”一個(gè)旅行者對(duì)他的朋友說(shuō)。“這些印第安老人深知大自然的秘密，比我們有科學(xué)知識(shí)的人知道的還多。他們并沒(méi)有被現(xiàn)代文明所迷惑。”接著他轉(zhuǎn)向印第安老人： “請(qǐng)問(wèn)，”他說(shuō)，“你是怎么知道這一切的`呢?” 印第安老人答道：“我是從無(wú)線電里聽(tīng)來(lái)的。”
英文爆笑笑話三：A Problem in Arithmetic
Bill is a good student and an intelligent boy. He likes to study arithmetic, and he can do all of the arithmetic problems in his book easily.
One day on his way to school Bill passed a fruit store. There was a sign in the window which said, "Apple-Six for five cents." An idea came to Bill and he went into the store. "How much are the apples?" he asked the store.
"Six for five cents." "But I don't want six apples." "How many apples do you want?" "It is not a question of how many apples I want. It is a problem in arithmetic." "What do you mean by a problem in arithmetic?" asked the man.
"Well, if six apples are wroth five cents, then five apples are worth four cents, four apples are worth three cents, three apples are worth rwo cents, two apples are worth one cent and one apple is worth nothing. I only want one apple, and if one apple is worth nothing then it is not necessary for me to pay you."
Bill picked out a good apple, began to eat it, and walked happily out of the store. The man looked at the young boy with such surprise that he could not say a word.
比爾是一個(gè)好學(xué)生，也是個(gè)聰明的孩子。他喜歡學(xué)數(shù)學(xué)，課本上所有的數(shù)學(xué)問(wèn)題他都能不費(fèi)勁地解答。
有一天，在上學(xué)路上，比爾經(jīng)過(guò)一家水果店。該店窗戶(hù)上有個(gè)招牌上寫(xiě)著：“蘋(píng)果--五美分六個(gè)。”比爾腦筋一轉(zhuǎn)，進(jìn)了店門(mén)。 “蘋(píng)果怎么賣(mài)?” “五美分六個(gè)。” “但我不想要六個(gè)。” “你想要幾個(gè)?” “這不是我想要幾個(gè)的問(wèn)題。這是個(gè)數(shù)學(xué)問(wèn)題。” “數(shù)學(xué)問(wèn)題?你說(shuō)這話是什么意思?”
“你看，如果六個(gè)蘋(píng)果五美分，那么五個(gè)蘋(píng)果四美分，四個(gè)蘋(píng)果三美分，三個(gè)蘋(píng)果二美分，二個(gè)蘋(píng)果一美分，一個(gè)蘋(píng)果就不要錢(qián)。我只要一個(gè)蘋(píng)果，如果一個(gè)蘋(píng)果一分錢(qián)也不要的話，那我也就沒(méi)必要給你錢(qián)了。”
比爾揀了一個(gè)好蘋(píng)果，開(kāi)始吃了起來(lái)，然后興高采烈地邁出了店門(mén)。那個(gè)售貨員吃驚地望著這個(gè)小男孩，一句話也說(shuō)不出來(lái)。
英文爆笑笑話四： Prize
獎(jiǎng)品
Little Albert came home from school with a new book under his arm.“It’s a prize，mother，”he explained.
小阿爾伯特腋下夾著一本新書(shū)從學(xué)校回家來(lái)了。“這是獎(jiǎng)品，媽媽。”他解釋道。
"A prized What for，dear"
“獎(jiǎng)品?因?yàn)槭裁吹玫�，寶�?”
"For natural history. Teacher asked me how many legs an ostrich has and I said three."
“因?yàn)樽匀皇�。老師�?wèn)我鴕鳥(niǎo)有幾條腿，我說(shuō)有三條。”
“But an ostrich has only two legs."
“但是鴕鳥(niǎo)是兩條腿啊。”
"I know it now. But all the pupil said four，so !was the closest."
“我現(xiàn)在知道了。但是其他學(xué)生都說(shuō)有四條。所以還是我最接近正確答案。”
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