笑話是日常生活中人們消遣娛樂的一種常見語言現(xiàn)象,其目的在于在會話過程中傳遞和激發(fā)幽默感。小編精心收集了短一點爆笑英文笑話，供大家欣賞學習!

　　短一點爆笑英文笑話篇1

　　I Want Her to go Nuts

　　我要讓她發(fā)瘋

　　Mrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, Paint me with diamondearrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.

　　福林德斯夫人決定讓人給她畫肖像。她告訴那位肖像畫家說：“畫我?guī)е�鉆石耳環(huán)、鉆石項鏈、祖母綠手鐲，還有紅寶石垂飾。”

　　But you're not wearing any of those things.

　　“但你現(xiàn)在沒帶這其中的任何一樣飾品。”

　　I know, said Mrs. Flinders. It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he'd remarryright away, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry.

　　“我知道。”福林德斯夫人說，“萬一我先我丈夫死去，我肯定他會立刻再婚。我要讓那個女人為尋找這些珠寶而發(fā)瘋。

　　短一點爆笑英文笑話篇2

　　Three pastors

　　三個牧師的故事

　　Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, You know, since summerstarted I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I’ve tried everything----noise, spray, cats----nothing seems to scare them away.

　　三個南部的牧師在一家小餐館里吃午飯。其中的一個說道：“你們知道嗎，自從夏天來臨，我的教堂的閣樓和頂樓就被蝙蝠騷擾，我用盡了一切辦法----噪音、噴霧、貓----似乎什么都不能把它們趕走。”

　　Another said, Yes, me too. I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry and in the attic. I’ve been hadthe place fumigated, and they still won’t go away.

　　另外一位說：“是啊，我也是。在我的鐘樓和閣樓也有好幾百只。我曾經請人把整個地方用煙熏消毒一遍，它們還是趕不走。”

　　The third said, I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church...haven’t seen oneback since!

　　第三個牧師說：“我為我那里的所有蝙蝠洗禮，讓它們成為教會的.一員......從此一只也沒有再回來過。”

　　短一點爆笑英文笑話篇3

　　A preacher is buying a parrot

　　一個傳教士在買鸚鵡

　　"Are you sure it doesnt scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher.

　　“你確信它不會尖叫，大叫或詛咒別人嗎?”傳教士問。

　　"Oh, absolutely. Its a religious parrot." the storekeeper assures him.

　　“哦，絕對不會。它是一只虔誠的鸚鵡。”店主保證說。

　　"Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lordsprayer, and when you pull on the left, he recites the 23rd Psalm."

　　“你看見它腿上的這些細繩了嗎?當你拉動右面的這根，它會背誦天主經，當你拉動左面的那根，它會背誦贊美詩”

　　"Wonderful!" says the preacher, but what happens if you pull both strings?

　　“太棒了!”傳教士說，“但是如果我同時拉動兩條繩子，會發(fā)生什么呢?”

　　"I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot.

　　“我會從樹干上掉下去的，你這個笨蛋!”鸚鵡尖聲說道。