2017英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)經(jīng)典段子
天冷了，有點(diǎn)凍腳！小伙伴們都圍起來(lái)�。�
英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)經(jīng)典段子(一)
一個(gè)小男孩非常想要一百美元買(mǎi)一輛自行車(chē)，但是祈禱了兩個(gè)星期也沒(méi)有結(jié)果。于是，他決定給上帝寫(xiě)一封信要這一百美元。當(dāng)郵局收到這封收信人為“美國(guó)，上帝”的信后，他們決定把它寄給美國(guó)總統(tǒng)。總統(tǒng)很重視，也很感動(dòng)。他命令他的秘書(shū)寄給個(gè)小男孩五美元紙鈔。總統(tǒng)認(rèn)為這對(duì)于一個(gè)小男孩來(lái)說(shuō)應(yīng)該是一筆大錢(qián)了。這個(gè)小男孩收到這五美元后非常高興，又坐下來(lái)給上帝寫(xiě)了一封感謝信，信中寫(xiě)道:
A little boy wanted one hundred dollar for a bicycle very badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the money. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA，they decided to send it to the president. The President was so impressed，touched and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a five bill. The President thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted wish the five-dollar bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord, which read:
親愛(ài)的上帝:
Dear Lord，
非常感謝你寄給我的錢(qián)。可是我發(fā)現(xiàn)，由于某種原因您通過(guò)華盛頓寄給我的錢(qián)，像往常一樣，那些奇怪的'人扣走了九十五美元。
Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, DC and as usual, those jerks deducted ninety-five dollars.
羅杰
Love,Roger
英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)經(jīng)典段子(二)
A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an old Indian went up to the director and said, "It will rain tomorrow." The next day it rained.
一個(gè)電影攝制組在沙漠深處進(jìn)行拍攝。一天，一個(gè)印度老人來(lái)到導(dǎo)演面前對(duì)他說(shuō)：“明天會(huì)下雨。”第二天果然下雨了。
A week later, the Indian went up to the director again and said, "There will be a storm tomorrow." The next day there was a storm.
一周以后，印度人又來(lái)了，他告訴導(dǎo)演說(shuō)：“明天會(huì)有暴風(fēng)雨。”果然，第二天有暴風(fēng)雨。
"This Indian is incredible," said the director. He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather.
“這個(gè)印度人真神，”導(dǎo)演說(shuō)。他告訴他的秘書(shū)去雇傭這個(gè)印度人來(lái)預(yù)測(cè)天氣。
However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn't show up for two weeks.
然而，幾次預(yù)測(cè)天氣成功之后，這個(gè)印度人連續(xù)兩周沒(méi)有露面。
Finally the director sent for him. "I have to shoot an important scene tomorrow," said the director. "And I'm depending on you. What will the weather be like?"
最后，導(dǎo)演派人把這個(gè)印度人請(qǐng)來(lái)了。導(dǎo)演對(duì)他說(shuō)：“我明天必須拍攝一個(gè)很重要的場(chǎng)景，全都指望你了，明天天氣如何啊?”
The Indian shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know," he said. "My radio is broken."
這個(gè)印度人聳了聳肩說(shuō)道：“我不知道，我的收音機(jī)壞了。”
英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)經(jīng)典段子(三)
One open hummer turn a corner to meet acquaintances, chat.
When a guy says: "the elder brothers, to drive forward, narrow road, a corner to my car."
Open hummer says scornfully: "what car you drive not to, wait a minute."
Men spoke a few times, hummer owner did not move.
Guy a little bit angry said: "don't move is! A moment touch bad don't call ah!"
Then go, hummer owner and his friend also said: "what car and don't touch me."
Just then, his friend looked up, said: "you still let! He came over."
Hummer owners turned a look, oh! Get on the bus go right away.
Just behind the man in the call: "you are not afraid of touch? Don't go!"
Hummer owner: "you didn't say you open the digger!"
一人開(kāi)悍馬到拐彎出碰到熟人，下車(chē)聊天。
這時(shí)過(guò)來(lái)一男的說(shuō)：“哥們，車(chē)朝前開(kāi)開(kāi)，拐彎路窄，我車(chē)過(guò)不來(lái)。”
開(kāi)悍馬車(chē)不屑的說(shuō)：“你開(kāi)什么車(chē)過(guò)不來(lái)，等一會(huì)。”
男的說(shuō)了幾次，悍馬車(chē)主就是不動(dòng)。
男的有點(diǎn)生氣說(shuō)：“不動(dòng)是吧!一會(huì)碰壞了別叫呀!”
然后走了，悍馬車(chē)主還和他朋友說(shuō)：“什么車(chē)能和我別碰。”
正說(shuō)著，他朋友抬頭一看說(shuō)：“你還是讓讓吧!他開(kāi)過(guò)來(lái)了。”
悍馬車(chē)主轉(zhuǎn)身一看，哎呀!馬上上車(chē)就走。
剛才那男的在后面叫：“你不是不怕碰嗎?別走呀!”
悍馬車(chē)主：“你也沒(méi)說(shuō)你開(kāi)的挖掘機(jī)呀!”
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