生活爆笑英語笑話
生活爆笑英語笑話大全笑破你的肚子(一)
猶如幾個(gè)時(shí)辰
As a band instructor at an elementary school, I require my students to turn in practice sheets signed by their parents so I can be sure they are putting in enough time.
作為一個(gè)小學(xué)的樂隊(duì)指揮，為了確保學(xué)生投入足夠的時(shí)間練習(xí)，我要求他們上交由他們父母簽字的練習(xí)單。
I had to laugh, however, when one parent wrote on her child's sheet, "Practiced 17 minutes, but it seemed like hours.
可是有一次，一位家長(zhǎng)的`簽字把我逗樂了。練習(xí)單上寫著：“練習(xí)了17分鐘，但猶如幾個(gè)時(shí)辰。”
生活爆笑英語笑話大全笑破你的肚子(二)
母親的腳
To prevent our dog, Lacy, from pestering visitors to our house, my mother often massaged her as she lounged beneath the kitchen table, her favorite resting spot. One day a contractor came over to talk about a home-improvement project.
為避免我們的狗，萊希，糾纏來訪的客人，我母親常在愛犬喜歡呆的地方，即餐桌下面，摩昵它。一天，一個(gè)建筑商來談居室裝潢工程。
As he and my mother sat across the table discussing the renovations, my mother slipped off her shoes and mindlessly soothed Lacy with her feet.
在這人和我母親坐在餐桌邊談居室的修茸時(shí)，我母親滑脫了她的鞋子，開始不經(jīng)意地用腳摩蹭起萊希來。
My mother had been talking for about a half-hour when to her great embarrassment she heard Lacy bark outside the front door.
談話進(jìn)行了半個(gè)小時(shí)的時(shí)候，我母親突然感到很不好意思起來，因?yàn)檫@時(shí)她聽到了萊希在前門外的犬吠聲。
生活爆笑英語笑話大全笑破你的肚子(三)
世界上最偉大的擊劍手
At an exhibition of the world's best swordsman, the third-place fencer took the stage.
在一場(chǎng)世界最佳擊劍手表演中，排名第三的擊劍手上場(chǎng)了。
A fly was released, and with an arc of his sword he cut the fly in half.
一只蒼蠅放了出來，劍劃了一個(gè)弧，他將蒼蠅劈成了兩半。
The crowd cheered.
觀眾歡呼起來。
Then the second-place man sliced a fly into quarters.
緊接著排名第二的人將一只蒼蠅切成了四半。
A hush fell in anticipation of the world's greatest swordsman.
現(xiàn)場(chǎng)一陣沉默，人們期盼著世界上最偉大的擊劍手出場(chǎng)。
His blade came down in a mighty arc - but the insect continued on its way! The crowd was aghast.
他的劍鋒以一個(gè)巨大的弧線劃了下來--然而那只昆蟲還在繼續(xù)飛行!觀眾被驚呆了。
The greatest swordsman had missed his target completely,
觀眾被驚呆了。最偉大的擊劍手完全錯(cuò)過了他的目標(biāo)，
yet he continued to smile.
然而他還在微笑著。
"Why are you so happy?" someone yelled.
“你為什么這么高興?”有人嚷道，
"You missed!"
“你沒擊中!”
"Ah," replied the swordsman,
“啊，”劍手答道，
"you weren't watching very carefully.
“你剛才沒有很仔細(xì)地看。
They fly lives, yes - but he will never be a father.
蒼蠅還活著，是的--但他永遠(yuǎn)也做不成爸爸了。
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