英語(yǔ)笑話經(jīng)典集錦2017
英語(yǔ)笑話經(jīng)典集錦(一)
Once there was a scholar who was very poor，but was very much concerned with his reputation. One evening，a thief broke into the scholar’s house，but he could find nothing worth stealing. So he said，"What bad lucky Ihave hit upon a real beggars”Hearing this，the scholar fished out little money he had from his bed head，and went after the thief. He stopped the thief and whispered to him，"You come at a most inopportune time. Would you please make do with this little money2 But for Heaven’s sake don’t talk about it in front of anyone else.By all means leave me a little face，eh?”
從前有個(gè)讀書人家里很窮，卻很愛面子。一天晚上，小偷到他家來(lái)行竊，卻沒(méi)有東西值得一偷，就說(shuō):“晦氣，我算碰到真正的窮鬼了!”讀書人聽見了，就從床頭摸出僅有的幾文錢，追上去攔住小偷，輕輕地說(shuō):“你來(lái)得真不巧。請(qǐng)將就些把這些錢拿去。不過(guò)在人家面前，你可千萬(wàn)不要隨便說(shuō)，給我留點(diǎn)面子啊。”
英語(yǔ)笑話經(jīng)典集錦(二)
One open hummer turn a corner to meet acquaintances, chat.
When a guy says: "the elder brothers, to drive forward, narrow road, a corner to my car."
Open hummer says scornfully: "what car you drive not to, wait a minute."
Men spoke a few times, hummer owner did not move.
Guy a little bit angry said: "don't move is! A moment touch bad don't call ah!"
Then go, hummer owner and his friend also said: "what car and don't touch me."
Just then, his friend looked up, said: "you still let! He came over."
Hummer owners turned a look, oh! Get on the bus go right away.
Just behind the man in the call: "you are not afraid of touch? Don't go!"
Hummer owner: "you didn't say you open the digger!"
一人開悍馬到拐彎出碰到熟人，下車聊天。
這時(shí)過(guò)來(lái)一男的說(shuō)：“哥們，車朝前開開，拐彎路窄，我車過(guò)不來(lái)。”
開悍馬車不屑的說(shuō)：“你開什么車過(guò)不來(lái)，等一會(huì)。”
男的`說(shuō)了幾次，悍馬車主就是不動(dòng)。
男的有點(diǎn)生氣說(shuō)：“不動(dòng)是吧!一會(huì)碰壞了別叫呀!”
然后走了，悍馬車主還和他朋友說(shuō)：“什么車能和我別碰。”
正說(shuō)著，他朋友抬頭一看說(shuō)：“你還是讓讓吧!他開過(guò)來(lái)了。”
悍馬車主轉(zhuǎn)身一看，哎呀!馬上上車就走。
剛才那男的在后面叫：“你不是不怕碰嗎?別走呀!”
悍馬車主：“你也沒(méi)說(shuō)你開的挖掘機(jī)呀!”
英語(yǔ)笑話經(jīng)典集錦(三)
"Doctor,"she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me.”
“醫(yī)生”她沖進(jìn)屋后大聲說(shuō)道。"我想讓你坦率地告訴我，我到底得了什么病。"
He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam,”he said at length, “l've just three things to telf you. First,your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, l'm an artist,the doctor lives downstairs."
他從頭到腳打量了她，然后大聲說(shuō)：“太太，我有三件事要對(duì)你說(shuō)。第一，您的體重需要減少大約50磅;第二，如您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口紅，您的相貌將會(huì)變美。第三，我是一位畫家——醫(yī)生住在樓下。”
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