最新英語經(jīng)典爆笑笑話
英語經(jīng)典爆笑笑話：馬克·吐溫
On one occasion when Mark Twain arrived in London from New York，the Star thought the fact worth recording onits evening placard.But there was another piece of news to bementioned：it was about the Ascot Cup being stolen.Theplacard thus ran： MARK TWAIN ARRIVES. ASCOT CUP STOLEN. Mark Twain，we believe，never heard the last of it.
有一次，馬克·吐溫從紐約起程抵達倫敦訪問，《星報》認為這個消息值得登在它的晚招貼上。但是，還有一條消息也要登上：關(guān)于愛斯科杯被盜的消息。招貼是這樣寫的： 馬克·吐溫 光臨 愛斯科杯 被盜 我們相信，馬克·吐溫從來也沒聽說過這件事。
英語經(jīng)典爆笑笑話：捎杯牛奶
At 2 a. m, Mrs. Culkin was convinced that she had heard a prowler in the living, room. "Tiptoe down-stairs," she told her husband. "Don' t turn on the lights. Sneak up him before he knows what's happening
Dutifully Mr. Culkin put on his robe. Just as he reached the bedroom door, his wife added, "And when you come back, bring me a glass of milk."
半夜兩點，科爾肯太太確信聽到客廳有賊，便對丈夫說：“別開燈，躡手躡腳下樓，別讓賊發(fā)覺，悄悄靠近他。”
科爾肯先生披上外套，責無旁貸地去捉賊。剛走到臥室門口，他妻子又補充說：“回來時給我捎杯牛奶。”
英語經(jīng)典爆笑笑話：Way of Inducing 招客有方
At the cleaner's, I noticed the sign "In by 10 a. m. , out by 5 p. m. " so I told the owner that I wanted to pick my clothing up at five. "it won't be ready," he said.
"But your sign says, 'In by 10 a. m. , out by 5 p. m.'," I reminded him.
"Oh," he replied, "that means me.
在洗衣店，我看到招牌上寫著：“上午10點進，下午5點出。”因此我就告訴店主我想在下午5點取衣。“下午5點還不能取，”他說。 “但是你的牌子上寫著：‘上午10點進，下午5點出’，”我提醒他說。
“哦，”他回答說，“那指的是我。”
英語經(jīng)典爆笑笑話：An Exceptional Phenomenon(罕見)
4-year-old Begin and his cousin scrambled (攀爬，爭搶) for toys. His mum told him: “ You are older brother because you’re older than your (cousin) sister. You should give ground to her. ” Begin thought a little but maintained(堅持) : “ My sister must give ground to me when she grows older than I.” His uncle around overheard and said : “Such a thing hardly occurs.”
四歲的貝京和小妹妹爭玩具。媽媽對他說：“你大，你是哥哥，要讓著小妹妹點兒。” 貝京想了想，堅持說：“等妹妹長得比我大了，她也得讓著我。”姨夫在一旁聽了說：“這種情況相當罕見。
英語經(jīng)典爆笑笑話：新生兒
The New Baby Mr.and Mrs.Taylor had a seven year old boy named Pat.Now Mrs.Taylor was expecting another child. Pat had seen babies in other people's houses and had not liked them very much，so he was not delighted about the news that there was soon going to be one in his house too. One evening Mr.and Mrs.Taylor were making plans for the baby's arrival.“This house won't be big enough for us all when the baby comes，”said Mr.Taylor. Pat came into the room just then and said，“What are you talking about?”“We were saying that we'll have to move to an other house now，because the new baby's coming，”his mother answered. “ It's no use，”said Pat hopelessly.“ He'll follow us there.”
泰勒夫婦有一個七歲的男孩，名叫帕特�，F(xiàn)在泰勒太太正懷著第二胎。 帕特在別人家看見過嬰兒，他不太喜歡他們，所以他對自己家里也將有一個嬰兒的消息感到不滿。 一天晚上，泰勒夫婦正在為這個嬰兒的降生計劃做安排。泰勒先生說：“有了嬰兒，我們的房子就太小，不夠住了。” 帕特恰好在這個時候走進屋，他問：“你們在說什么?”他的母親回答說：“我們在說我們現(xiàn)在得搬家，因為嬰兒就要誕生了。” “那沒用，”帕特絕望地說。“他會跟我們到那兒去的`。”
英語經(jīng)典爆笑笑話：超速的司機A Speeding Motorist
A highway patrol officer stopped a speeding motorist. "Don't you know what the blinking lights and siren mean?" he demanded.
"Yes, sir," replied the driver.
"Then why didn't you pull over immediately?"
"I would have, officer, " the man said. "But last month my wife ran off with a policeman, and I was afraid you were bringing her back.
一位公路巡警截住了一個超速司機。“難道你不知道閃爍燈和警笛的意思嗎?”他責問道。
“知道，長官，”司機回答說。
“那你為什么不立即靠邊停車?”
“我本來想這樣做的，長官。”那男子回答說，“但上個月我妻子和一位警察私奔了，我是害怕你把她帶回來。”
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